Saturday, December 8, 2007

New beginnings...

First off, apologies to those who I didn't get to meet up with before leaving or were left out in the dark.

It's been close to a month since we've been here and I'm starting to settle into the place I'm going to call home for the next few years. So far, we've been focusing on planning our wedding reception here and just getting set up here (getting a phone, internet, finding a new church, etc), so not too much to report. In the meantime, I'm experimenting with this to be one more way for my friends back home to keep in touch with what's happening to me, if they're at all interested.

As a stranger in a strange land, you know that sometimes things get done differently from what you're used to. This past week, I was due for a haircut, so I asked my wife where I should go.

"Oh, all guys get their hair cut by M---- barbers," she says.

What do I know? So off we go. Instructions given, vague nod given by the butcher (I mistake this for understanding). Part way through, I think to myself, maybe they just do things differently here (wrong move, should've spoken up). The end result:





This picture is based on actual events. Any similarity to any person living or dead is quite unfortunate.
Or is it actual humans were harmed in order to shoot this picture?

The moral of the story is, if it doesn't look right, it isn't going to turn out right, speak up. Just because most people speak English don't assume they understand, use short words until you see the lights come on, otherwise you end up looking like you've just done National Service (which coincidentally is a requirement for all males here). On the plus side, I haven't had to use any product for the last week or for the forseeable future. As it turns out, none of her friends polled gets their haircut by M---- barbers and the last time her information would have been accurate was when the Spice Girls weren't their own tribute band.

While we are here, we'd like to have as many friends visit as possible. There are somethings that you need to know:
  1. Do you remember when we were younger and every visit to MacD's or any other fast food joint meant taking more napkins than you could ever use in 10 visits? Hope you saved them up, because napkins are not provided here in many of the eateries here (hawker centres, kopitiam or coffee shops). That's because all the paper is being used by
  2. Highly trained assasins. Beware of most underpasses, MRT, mall and store entrances. These pathways are patrolled by people capable of silently slashing out at passers-by with a flyer or five. My worst encounter happened here. I still have scars on my forearms and the shredded t-shirt I wore that day I ran the guantlet of tightly packed exhibition stalls patrolled by an army of these individuals. I barely survived the Path of a Thousand Papercuts.
  3. As much as guns are ubiquitous in the US and subsequently become involved in shootings such as this one, cellphones are just as omnipresent here and also similarly involved in incidents with unfortunate consequences. People become incapable of walking properly, fail to hold handrails on a moving bus, and become generally oblivious to their surroundings, resulting in stepped upon toes or worse, unwanted contact. Chances are, you or someone close to you will become a victim, the odds are stacked against you. People here will respond to the sirens' call that can happen anywhere, anytime (while in church, while watching a movie, while someone at the bank trying to sell you things they can't fully explain.) The only thing more numerous than cellphones are the rules here, but that, my friends is fodder for another post.

EDIT: Immigration controls are important in Singapore, like any other country. This was evidenced by the heavy "security" placed around the MTR exit close to the ICA. In the morning when I arrived, there were only 6 pamphlet pushers on patrol, by the time I left in the early afternoon, that had been doubled to manage the increased traffic flow.

EDIT: Having just returned from HK, I have to say that the paper assasins here have nothing on those in Hong Kong, they simply lack the numbers and killer instinct. Instead of waiting like they do here, they pounce and pursue with aggression. Not making eye contact is not enough. You've been warned.