Saturday, December 8, 2007

New beginnings...

First off, apologies to those who I didn't get to meet up with before leaving or were left out in the dark.

It's been close to a month since we've been here and I'm starting to settle into the place I'm going to call home for the next few years. So far, we've been focusing on planning our wedding reception here and just getting set up here (getting a phone, internet, finding a new church, etc), so not too much to report. In the meantime, I'm experimenting with this to be one more way for my friends back home to keep in touch with what's happening to me, if they're at all interested.

As a stranger in a strange land, you know that sometimes things get done differently from what you're used to. This past week, I was due for a haircut, so I asked my wife where I should go.

"Oh, all guys get their hair cut by M---- barbers," she says.

What do I know? So off we go. Instructions given, vague nod given by the butcher (I mistake this for understanding). Part way through, I think to myself, maybe they just do things differently here (wrong move, should've spoken up). The end result:





This picture is based on actual events. Any similarity to any person living or dead is quite unfortunate.
Or is it actual humans were harmed in order to shoot this picture?

The moral of the story is, if it doesn't look right, it isn't going to turn out right, speak up. Just because most people speak English don't assume they understand, use short words until you see the lights come on, otherwise you end up looking like you've just done National Service (which coincidentally is a requirement for all males here). On the plus side, I haven't had to use any product for the last week or for the forseeable future. As it turns out, none of her friends polled gets their haircut by M---- barbers and the last time her information would have been accurate was when the Spice Girls weren't their own tribute band.

While we are here, we'd like to have as many friends visit as possible. There are somethings that you need to know:
  1. Do you remember when we were younger and every visit to MacD's or any other fast food joint meant taking more napkins than you could ever use in 10 visits? Hope you saved them up, because napkins are not provided here in many of the eateries here (hawker centres, kopitiam or coffee shops). That's because all the paper is being used by
  2. Highly trained assasins. Beware of most underpasses, MRT, mall and store entrances. These pathways are patrolled by people capable of silently slashing out at passers-by with a flyer or five. My worst encounter happened here. I still have scars on my forearms and the shredded t-shirt I wore that day I ran the guantlet of tightly packed exhibition stalls patrolled by an army of these individuals. I barely survived the Path of a Thousand Papercuts.
  3. As much as guns are ubiquitous in the US and subsequently become involved in shootings such as this one, cellphones are just as omnipresent here and also similarly involved in incidents with unfortunate consequences. People become incapable of walking properly, fail to hold handrails on a moving bus, and become generally oblivious to their surroundings, resulting in stepped upon toes or worse, unwanted contact. Chances are, you or someone close to you will become a victim, the odds are stacked against you. People here will respond to the sirens' call that can happen anywhere, anytime (while in church, while watching a movie, while someone at the bank trying to sell you things they can't fully explain.) The only thing more numerous than cellphones are the rules here, but that, my friends is fodder for another post.

EDIT: Immigration controls are important in Singapore, like any other country. This was evidenced by the heavy "security" placed around the MTR exit close to the ICA. In the morning when I arrived, there were only 6 pamphlet pushers on patrol, by the time I left in the early afternoon, that had been doubled to manage the increased traffic flow.

EDIT: Having just returned from HK, I have to say that the paper assasins here have nothing on those in Hong Kong, they simply lack the numbers and killer instinct. Instead of waiting like they do here, they pounce and pursue with aggression. Not making eye contact is not enough. You've been warned.

7 comments:

denise said...

Oooh...Look forward to reading about life in Singapore.

The haircut is not THAT bad...what does the wife think?

BruceLin42 said...

On Tokyo street corners the ninjas whip packets of Kleenex in your face, packets labelled with whatever they were promoting. Obviously a soft pack of tissues is not quite as effective killers as the Singaporean razor-wielders.

At least the packs are pulled out of the way just before you walk into them, unlike the sliding doors, which don't open until after your nose has already touched the door. Do people walk slower in Japan?

bx said...

welcome to the little red dot. i learned my lesson about local hair 'stylist' a long time ago. 2 words: NEVER AGAIN.

so did you end up going to IBCS?

Unknown said...

*rofl* i'm tickled pink by this post! *chuckles*

Re haircut. The men in my family go to Grad Hair Salon on the 1st floor of Bukit Timah Plaza. Fion, in particular (who is there on Fri-Sun) is pretty nifty with the scissors. They're not as cheap as the M-barbers ($15 for a cut) but definitely more stylish. :P

Keith Wong said...

Thanks for the recommendation. Maybe there is a lesson to be learned in all of this.

alan said...

Awesome. Keith has joined the blogging circuit. Now if only you can post more often than I do - that might qualify you for readership! Goodness knows, I've lost most of mine due to infrequent posting!

Good to hear from you :) So funny and well-written! I almost can't believe it's you!

Keith Wong said...

Well, I figure those that want to read will read. Aim is for weekly or so frequency, but am definitely aiming more for quality than quantity. Of course, subscribe to stay posted...

Glad to see that you are enjoying it, though not sure how to take that last comment. Say hi to your better half for me. Merry Christmas